Rachel of Atomic Books was kind enough to link to my last post on her blog, which is great, by the way. I’ve been a fan of Rachel ever since she called me on my own shit at the book store. During the week of St. Patrick’s Day, I went into Atomic Books, eyeballed a copy of A Drink With Shane MacGowen. Seeing as it was the week of St. Patrick’s Day, that I’ve always been a Shane fan, I’m more Mic than anything else AND the fact that I’m a total drunk, I decided to buy it.

I walked up to Rachel, who looked at the book, looked up at me and asked “You’re buying this book because it’s St. Patrick’s Day, aren’t you?”

GASP! “What?” I denied, denied, denied... “Oh no. That didn’t even occur to me.”

You caught me, Rachel. I’m a total geek. The book was great, thank you.

Scott Huffines likes my blog in all caps, which is awesome because I love his Atomic TV. My favorite episode, of course, is the one where Scott and Tom Warner go to the Atlantic City Porn Convention and get spankings from the porn stars. If I remember correctly, I think that show caused quite a stir over at the FCC. I would have linked to the episode, were it not for all the pornography. Thanks Scott! I'll be linking back.

*Gawker Media uses my material but neglects to link back. Gee whiz, I wonder why? hahahahahahahaha.

Can’t say that I blame them. As I say at the bottom of this page, “Intellectual property rights will not enforced in relation to the webpage. Steal whatever you want.” If I’m going to be snubbed, it might as well be from the king daddy of the evil A-listers.

Peek-a-boo, I know you see me.

I’m still going to go on the record and praise Remy Stern for a job well done. A Dirty Shame Blog is very good. But I’m not going to kiss Nick Denton’s ass to get recognition.

Glad I could help.

*It turns out that my claims are completely unfounded. Peek a boo, a dirty shame blog does in fact see me and was kind enough to send me a very a very nice email which padded my prickish ego. All praise belongs to Scott Huffines for the data in that post. And Remy Stern is a really nice guy despite the fact he works for Satan.

Now I’m going to toot my own horn for one silly joke I made the other night.

I was walking on the corner of North Calvert and Chase. A good friend and coworker spotted me and pulled over to offer me a ride. Grateful, for the ride, I yelled out at the top of my lungs “It’ll cost you forty dollars.”

“Just get in the damn car!” he yelled back.

The next day, he shared my joke with the entire staff. Universal agreement: good one.

Yes, yes, I know. I’m not worth forty dollars.

Toot!

Thank you tranny prostitutes that work that corner for not kicking my ass for moving in on their territory.

Also, thank you Police Department for not hearing me make that joke and arresting the both of us and giving us very embarrassing criminal records because I felt like making one stupid joke.

Inspiration For The Last Joke

No less than four times this summer, I’ve been mistaken for a male prostitute on Chase Street.

The scenario is always the same:

Standing at the corner of Chase and Maryland, waiting for the light to turn so I can cross, a car pulls up and some dude with a shit eating grin stares at me and thinks that I’m actually going to get in his car.

Thank you, pathetic johns for making me feel pretty and young in that dirty male prostitute kind of a way. I haven’t been seventeen years old for fourteen years.

Also, thank you for making me realize that I dress like a young hustler.