I’ve spent nearly a week away from the internet and reading actual real live periodicals instead. My new fav is The Atlantic (well, new to me anyway. Why the hell was this mag not sitting around the house when I was growing up?).

Various articles that caused me to question why I still read all the free crap on the internet:

Bipolar Disorder. by Jonathan Rauch.
I love this article questioning our perception of a polarized nation into two distinct camps. I love this statement which sarcastically trivializes the concept of “two Americas”:

In red America, Saturday is for NASCAR and Sunday is for church. In blue america, Saturday is for the farmers’ market (provided there are no actual farmers) and Sunday is for The New York Times.

Ha. So what if I go to the farmers’ market on Saturdays? I don’t actually buy anything. That would involve cooking and using the refrigerator that I’ve been too scared to open for the past three months. I only go for the coffee (and to cruise hippy chicks) anyway. Yes, and I religiously read The New York Times every Sunday, depending on the potency of my hangover.

Damn him for exposing me as a cultural stereotype.

Letter From Baghdad. by William Langeweische. An insider’s view exposing exactly how badly we’re loosing in Iraq, how we never had a chance of winning in the first place, how blazingly well the Bush administration is helping al-Qaeda and how WE ARE GOING TO LOOSE.

Duh. That’s exactly what I was arguing before we invaded. Why the hell didn’t anyone consult me?

Letting Go of Roe. “The Democratic Party’s commitment to preserving Roe v. Wade had been deeply unhealthy of the cause of abortion rights, for liberalism more generally, and ultimately for the American democracy” by Benjamin Wittes.

I’ve been waiting for someone to point this out since I was, like, twelve years old. As a measured supporter of Abortion Rights, even I can see (with no background in law) that Roe v. Wade is an insanely poorly written legal argument. A right to privacy and the right to an abortion have almost nothing to do with one another. To say that R v. W is at the very least, creatively subjective, is a wild understatement. If the left can circumnavigate the law so blatantly to push their agendas, so can the right. Hence the ‘unhealthy’ effect on ‘American democracy’. With court decisions like Roe v. Wade, the Constitution means almost nothing.

Ten Years Later. by Richard a. Clarke (remember him? If you are one of those dickweeds that think he was just a disgruntled policy wonk who was trying to hock a book, you’re an idiot. Enjoy your Fox News.)

The piece is a fictional report, set in 2011, cataloging the potential blowback of a ridiculously poorly fought ‘War on Terror’ that is doing nothing but making the situation worse, written from the perspective of a counter terrorism expert; NOT a neoconservative numb nut ideologue.

Presidential Ailments.

This was may favorite of all! It listed all the recent president’s butt problems.

George W. Bush. Colonic polyps.
Bill Clinton. Rectal Bleeding.
Ronald Reagan. Colon cancer (treatment for which removed two feet of his colon). Colonic Polyps.
Jimmy Carter. Hemorrhoids.
John F. Kennedy. Three diarrhea medicines.
Dwight Eisenhower. Bowel obstruction.