I suppose it was bound to happen. Working alone, I’ve never really had to deal with opposing opinions. But now that I have Mr. Schnozzle working with me, I find myself having to deal with the fact that not everyone on a staff is necessarily going to agree with one another when it comes to politics.

I’ve been feeling a little bad for Mr. Schnozzle lately. He’s been having a difficult time adjusting to his new work environment. And since I suppose it wasn’t really fair of me to go behind his back and make a deal with his probation officer to secure his employment, I spent all morning scouring the internet for a really cool tough guy outfit to dress him up in. You know, like a Rambo or a John Wayne or something.

While I was searching for this “tough guy” image, I heard what sounded like squealing, screaming and spitting coming out of the office I had set up for Mr. Schnozzle in the broom closet. I went to the closet to investigate and asked Mr. Schnozzle where the sound was coming from.

“I’m listening to the radio, you got a problem with that, monkey boy?” he hissed at me.

“Um, no... I was just wondering where the sound was coming from. I...”

“Yeah, that’s right, I’m listening to Sean Hannity” he interrupted. “I suppose the thought police around here only let us listen to NPR?”

“No, no” I stammered. “You can listen to what ever want to. I just thought heard you torturing my cat.”

“Oh, plleeeaaassse? Don’t tell me you’re one of those PETA freaks, too? I’ve been reading your archives. I knew you were one of those bleeding hearts, but I didn’t think you were one of those PETA freaks. And by the way, tell your faggot cat to stay away from me. He’s been making googley eyes all morning!”

“Um... um, no, I don’t care for PETA either. But I will have to ask you to respect my cat’s homosexual lifestyle in the workplace.”

“Oh, I see how it is around here,” he rolled his eyes “I have to respect the fat faggot cat who wears women’s underwear; but nobody has to respect that I LOVE AMERICA and see things as they are!”

“Bruiser is NOT FAT!” I snapped back, “He’s just a little hippy. And keep your voice down. He’s very sensitive and cries easily. Besides, I don’t think the fact that he likes to wear women’s underwear is any of your business.”

“Oh, that’s rich. Man, David Horowitz is right about you guys.”

“Listen! You can listen to whatever you want to. Just keep the sound down so I can concentrate, and don’t make Bruiser cry. He’s impossible when he cries.”

“Whatever, PETA boy. So who you have me dressed up as in the next post? FDR? Heh, that commie loving cripple.”

“FDR? Um... no.”