I’ve never felt inclined to burn an American flag, and it is doubtful that I ever will. The flag itself doesn’t mean enough to me to bother. In my household our sense of patriotism, love of country and all that blah blah had no connection to a flag. We were raised to view it as a meaningless symbol. The blah blah was directed towards the Constitution. The familial civic lessons always ran along the lines “this, that and such and such died in some war defending the Constitution;” never “this, that and such and such died in some war defending the flag.”

But let there be no mistake, if I ever find myself alone in the desert with the runs, toilet paperless and with nothing on hand but an American flag to clean my exit(it could happen), I won’t need to give it a second thought. There wouldn't be any grandiose gesture attached. Grandiose gestures are for assholes (the person kind -- not the person exit kind). I’ll just be cleaning my bottom. Well, that is if I’m all out of socks. There’s no need to be disrespectful if it can be avoided. Although I do hate buying new socks.

I just think it’s funny that people like me look at the flag as a meaningless symbol and the Constitution as something that is real, tangible and should be revered; whereas, the other half of the country look at the Constitution as a meaningless symbol and think that the flag is real, tangible and should be revered.

Eh... Red, Blue or White, I guess we all view things differently and are entitled to our own opinions. If some social conservative found himself trapped in the desert with a nasty case of the runs and had nothing on hand but the Constitution to clean himself, I suppose I couldn’t judge him too harshly if he chose to use it. I personally couldn’t bring myself to do it and would just rub my ass on the sand like a dog with tapeworm.

Still, I would prefer they didn’t choose do it on the floor of the US Senate. So much for wishful thinking.