”I am tired. My heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.”

Joseph, Chief of the Nez Percé, 1877

pppppppttttthhhhhhttttt! That quote is way more melodramatic than how I’m feeling about this, but I guess today will be a sort of a momentous turning point for me.

I’ve been anticipating and dreading this for about ten years. Today is the day that I resign myself to my fate, head down to the barber and allow them to buzz off the last vestiges of hair that once plentifully populated the top of my head.

It is time. From now until I die, I will officially be a cue-balled motherfucker. I will no longer be one of the haired ones.

Eh... such is life.

I’m only going to pay a barber to do this once. It’s idiotic to pay a professional to do what any moron can do for himself with a pair of clippers. Can any of the other baldylocks out there recommend a good pair of clippers for me to buy? I’ve owned cheap clippers before and those things hurt. I willing to pay top dollar to keep my melon painlessly trimmed.