O! O! O! I get to go to a wedding tomorrow. Lucky me. Not you... I’m the lucky one. For certain reasons I’m not going to boor you with, it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll be able to blow this one off.

Okay, I will boor you with the details. My old standby “I work on Saturdays” excuse isn't going to cut it this time, as he and the fiancé/wife/baby-mama scheduled the wedding specifically with people who work my hours in mind. Not to mention he attended my father’s funeral. Fucker.

Not that I’m criticizing the institution of marriage. Yay marriage, yay them and all that. Besides, it’s not like he is losing his freedom or anything. That already happened a looooooooonnnnnngggg time ago.

Take, for instance, this series of photos I took of the groom last year when I was on an outing with him, the future mrs., and the little ones:

Soooooooooo sad.

Like I said before, I have nothing against the institution of marriage. I just hate weddings. Freedom is just an illusionary perception of reality anyway, so you might as well make things legitimate with a symbolic and legal declaration to the world “She is in charge.” I just wish the universe would come up with a way to do this without eating into my free time.

I think my favorite thing about the upcoming nuptials (in spite of the unfortunate fact that I’m sort of obligated to attend), is that when they decided to get married, the future mrs. suggested that they not bother with all the wedding crap and just elope. Mr. Genius said no, no, no, they had to throw a party for their friends and family, albeit it a humble and affordable one. hahaha! Unfortunately for him, human nature took over and the future mrs. (whom I like, by the way) began to realize that the wedding was “her” day. *$$$ ka-ching! $$$* Sucker! Now, many thousands of dollars later, I get to giggle with delight to myself every time someone asks him if he is excited about the upcoming wedding, causing him to scowl, hiss and grumble to himself under his breath.

Unfortunately, I’ve already gotten about as much milage out of that small joy as I can muster.

Update (11:52 am): This is exactly what I'm talking about.