I just wanted to take a moment to commend Mike of Side of Gravy for having the courage to share with us, with a three part structure, the tragic tale of the inflamed vein on the exterior of his anal verge.

Allow me, if you will, to revisit three part dramatic structure, as it pertains to the story of Mike’s pucker:

Act I: In Act One the protagonist meets all of the characters. We also find out the main problem of the story. Everybody can usually plot Act One because we have to know the problem to have the idea. The trick in Act One is to keep it interesting. Start at the most interesting point, where there is conflict and excitement, and help the audience sort it out.

Act One is a preparation act for the viewer or reader. They are asking who is the hero. Do I care about the relationships? What is the problem for the hero? Is the problem gripping (heh. ‘gripping’)? By the end of Act One you should also have introduced the antagonist and set up all of the secondary character relationships.

Act II: This is the most important act in the drama because you have the two most important structural moves in the story.

1. The Complication. The complication usually comes at the top of Act Two. The problem that we already set up in Act One, now has to become much more dangerous and difficult. The heroes must then start to try to solve this bigger, more complicated problem, while the adversaries make moves to defeat them.

2. Destruction of the hero’s plan. At the end of Act Two is the second act curtain. This is the destruction of the hero’s plan. At the end of Act Two the protagonist should be almost destroyed, and at the lowest point in the drama, either physically and/or emotionally. He is flat on his back and it looks like there is no way he can succeed.

Act III: The resolution. From the rubble laying around him, the protagonist picks up a piece of string and follows it to the eventual conclusion of the story.

Well, Mike, you’ve succeeded in hitting all of the major plot points and keeping this one reader on the edge of his seat (heh. ‘edge of his seat’). Kudos to you, I say. As the owner of an abnormally sensitive starfish myself, I can keep silent no longer. I too am a sometimes sufferer of the dreaded ‘roids, and have been since high school. O, with such humiliation I suffered in silence as I’ve treated my own pucker like a delicate flower (heh. ‘O’). But no more! Let me carefully stand up and be counted! I occasionally suffer from an inflamed asshole and I'm proud of it! I am Spartacus!

Mike's better side. [picture courtesy of fruitloopsandporn]

You’ve given a voice to us all. Thank you, sir.