The other day, a guy at work called me ‘the white Gonzo.’ As in “Man. You like the white Gonzo.” When he called me the white Gonzo, he meant Gonzo the Muppet:

not Gonzo, the drug addled journalist. That wouldn’t have made any sense, as Gonzo the drug addled journalist was already white; unlike Gonzo the Muppet, who is blue, which and in my opinion, is a far greater complement anyway. It isn’t that I dislike Gonzo the drug addled journalist, per se. I just hate his fans. Generally, Gonzo the drug addled journalist fans are pretty much like Charles Bukowski fans. Basically, they’re people (generally dudes) who want the world to think of them as hardcore partiers, that smoking pot is a big part of their identity... and who like to read. This can be charming in a fourteen year old, but in an adult... well, it’s just sort of sad, boring and irritating.

Gonzo the Muppet, on the other hand, was totally awesome. He was true to his love, Camille the chicken, would tap dance in oatmeal and once said "I shall now eat a rubber tire to the music of The Flight of the Bumblebee...music, maestro!" Not to mention he also liked to get hit in the stomach with cannonballs, which is infinitely cooler and less lame and showy than having your ashes blown out of a cannon. That whole Gonzo the drug addled journalist funeral thing bored the hell out of me.

I hope it becomes my new nickname. Is the domain name is still available?