So a well known magazine that cannot decide whether it is literary journal or a glossy gossip rag is publishing an interview this week with Linsay Lohan in which she confesses to having both substance abuse and eating disorders issues. I don’t have much of an opinion about this. As far as I can see, Ms. Lohan is a young girl from a seriously screwed up family, who has recently experienced a great deal of success in an industry built on exploiting people by kissing their ass and telling them how wonderful they are, and has had millions of dollars dumped in her lap. If I had found myself in a similar situation as a teenager, they would have found my corpse in a Mexican gutter by the end of the first weekend.

But there is one thing in which I am absolutely certain; fat, ugly, poor, jealous and miserable gashes are going to squeal with delight across the internet today.

I’ve always held that the most despicable type of blogging is internet political punditry... left, right or center. As though political spin isn’t revolting enough on its own, do these people really believe that amateur political spin is going to raise the bar in the dialogue? They make it seem as though I’m doing God’s work when I mock clinically retarded people.

Today, there is going to be a lot of bustle in internet Hell. All the political monsters are going to have to temporarily pack their bags and move up one circle to make room for the gossip gashes that will be taking their place. Biased and manipulative cartoons will have to be removed from cubicle walls to make room for flickr shots of Lohan vomiting in a nightclub bathroom stall with Yay cake plastered around her nostrils.

Third rate wannabe Michelle Malkins and Talking Point Memoers, don’t get too settled and comfortable in the second to last deepest circle of internet hell, because tomorrow you’ll just have to pack up again and move back to where you belong.