(okay, not mail. just a comment)

Subject: Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!

What is it with you eebmore, not enough balls to come into the Crooked in Canada blog and shoot off your mouth there?
Godless Canadian bloggers? Are you shitting me? What makes
you think you're any more a blogger than Canadians? Your
head is so far up your ass you're gonna have to install a
windshield in your belly button so you can see where you
going?

By the way, if you want to be respected as a blogger instead of the dickhead you seem to be, then let those of us you seem to shoot of your mouth about have the opportunity to at least rebut your dribble.

I tried to post this in a thread that DID have comments allowed but a funny thing happened when I tried to verify my comment, the thread was no longer available to be commented on. In my book that makes you coward, know what I mean?

Sigh. Of course I do not actually have any animosity or hostility towards, of all things, Canadians. Having a hate on for Canada or Canadians would be like hating white rice. That post was written specifically to amuse a particular Canadian, who, unlike you, has a sense of humor. I also do not think my stupid little blog is in anyway superior to, of all things, blogs written by Canadians. I do think it is bullshit that Canadians are eligible for the Booker Prize while Americans are not, but nobody is giving any bloggers any Booker Prizes for anything we write anytime soon. But that is an entirely different matter.

I have never come into your blog, “Crooked in Canada” because, obviously, I have never heard of you, although I did just check it out. Ah yes, angry right wing amateur pundit spittle, written to address minutiae relating to Canadian politics. How could I possibly have never heard of you? Not that there is anything wrong for having a little known personal blog about whatever, but to speak of yourself and your site as though you are some big player that everyone should know about? If I want to read empty angry political rants, written by either the left or the right, I have plenty of home grown options that address issues and politicians that I have actually heard of.

Also, my comments close after they fall of the main index page to protect me from spam, not for fear of receiving idiotic humorless rants on dead threads from, of all things, nationalistic Canadian patriots. This is why, instead of a comment field, you saw a box that stated this:

instead of this:

...know what I mean? So Canada has imbeciles who take themselves too seriously as well? Well, I guess our two nations are not so different after all.

As I said in my response to you, the comments on this post will be open as long as this post remains on the main page. Flame away. Stand up for your nation and dig your own hole to your Canadian heart’s content. Please.

Update:

All right, I’ll admit that this deranged moron baited me into a ridiculous email back and forth over this nonsense.

Apparently, he was googling himself (pathetic) and mistakenly came across my site in the process. The post in question had a sentence that had the phrase “mangled Canadian Gypsy talk.” His web identity is “Canadian Gypsy.” (how poetic) His imagination twisted the phrase to be a reference to himself, even though, given the context, it would have made absolutely no sense.

So this was apparently a big Three’s Company style misunderstanding, EXCEPT HE IS CRAZY AS A LOON! Idiotic as it is of me, I keep emailing him and saying “I have no idea who you are! Dork.” To which, he keeps emailing me back saying “You know who I am. Stop lying.” We keep going around over and over and over again.

The sad thing is, after bragging that he is a real writer who is “picked up by a couple of magazines” (oh lord, where have I heard that before?) I noticed that he didn’t seem to have any comments on any of his posts. Not a big deal in itself. Traffic should never be a competition. But I was curious and checked his archives for this month... last month... and the month before. Even though he seems to post several times a day, nobody has bothered to comment in over three months. Not only have I never heard of him, apparently neither has anybody else. The fact that this guy thinks he matters enough to noticed is simply bizarre.

I will give him credit for one thing. He did thoroughly enjoy getting under my skin, and I did fall for that hook line and stinker. Below is the full unedited transcript of our entire email exchange. Feel free to laugh at me for bothering. But I do think the exchange in itself is pretty entertaining in its own right. I have edited his name and email address, so as not to create an unnecessary flame exchange. I see no need. If he wants his name, blog, and email address to be connected to this post, he is more than welcome to provide them in the comment section. I do not delete comments under any circumstances.

italiacs: him
bold: me

From:
canadian@[sic]  Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!
To:
eebmore@yahoo.com
CC:
eebmore@mac.com
Date:
Fri, 27 Jan 2006 09:12:26 +1000 (EST)

What is it with you eebmore, not enough balls to come into the
Crooked in Canada blog and shoot off your mouth there?
Godless Canadian bloggers? Are you shitting me? What makes
you think you're any more a blogger than Canadians? Your
head is so far up your ass you're gonna have to install a
windshield in your belly button so you can see where you
going?

I tried to post this in a thread that DID have comments allowed
but a funny thing happened when I tried to verify my comment,
the thread was no longer available to be commented on. In my
book that makes you coward, know what I mean?

Date:
Thu, 26 Jan 2006 18:23:55 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Adam"   Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Re: Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!
To:
canadian@[sic]

heh. the intention was to give everyone, including
canadians, an opportunity to laugh. of course none of
those were serious cracks. I've never heard of anyone
hating Canada. the comments close after posts fall
off the index page as a spam filter. good job taking
a joke. I'll be putting this email in a new post
tomorrow. If you want to throw some hate my way
you'll have the opportunity then. And yes, it will be
full of cracks on canada, which, by the way, is the
homeland of my people. :)

adam

From:
canadian@[sic]  Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Re: Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!
To:
"Adam"
Date:
Sat, 28 Jan 2006 06:35:14 +1000 (EST)

You moron, you mentioned Canadian Gypsy in your blog. You
either went to an old forum or have visited my blog. Keep track
of what you publish idiot.

--------------------------
Come on Adam, don\'t pretend that you don\'t koow who Canadian Gypsy
is, lol.<br />
<br />
How\'s this, I\'ll play your silly little game. You write about me in
your blog and I\'ll embarass you in my blog, fair enough?<br />

Date:
Fri, 27 Jan 2006 12:57:17 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Adam"   Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Re: Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!
To:
canadian@[sic]

"mangled Canadian Gypsy talk" was not a reference to
whoever the hell you are, you paranoid narcissistic
twit. Get a life. I have never heard of you, loser.

From:
canadian@[sic]  Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Re: Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!
To:
"Adam"
Date:
Sat, 28 Jan 2006 12:05:45 +1000 (EST)

Lol.

For argument's sake, you are familiar with my blogging. Let's
just leave it at that for now.

Date:
Fri, 27 Jan 2006 20:15:07 -0800 (PST)
From:
"Adam"   Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Re: Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!
To:
canadian@[sic]

You are such a deranged idiot. this woman and I were
amusing one another. we were kidding. nobody ruffled
anybody's feathers. it was "gypsy-talk" from a
canadian. you are so simple that jokes have to be
explained to you. gypsy talk is a cryptic
indecipherable dialect. the joke being that the
american dialect and the canadian dialect are
virtually indistinguishable. it is called irony.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF YOU, YOU PARANOID NARCISSISTIC
TWIT. there is nothing to assume other than you are
touched.

From:
canadian@[sic]  Add to Address Book  Add Mobile Alert
Subject:
Re: Laughing My Ass Off At You, You Retard Scarf Wearing Yank!
To:
"Adam"
Date:
Sun, 29 Jan 2006 07:45:05 +1000 (EST)

[I'll be putting this email in a new post tomorrow.]

If you say so. Take care sucka!