eebmore: Last Night, Your Mother Told Me She Loved This Idea

Last Night, Your Mother Told Me She Loved This Idea

February 01, 2006

For the remainder of this week, I am going to be all about “your mother” jokes. The week has already begun, actually. I have added a “your mother” joke to every email I have sent. I’ve just decided to make it official policy. How could I have never told a “your mother” joke in all these years? They’re brilliant!

So, if I leave a comment on any of your pages about, ya know, your mom, please don’t be offended. It is not out of disrespect. What your mom and I have is special. She knows things that you would never understand, believe you me.

Also, if I leave comments along the lines of “How are your wife and my kids?,” please don’t be offended by those either. All the hard work you have put into raising my offspring makes you the real dads. I cannot describe how much respect I have for you for that. Thank you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, your mother is calling me. Whew. I need to drink some more Gatorade.

01:50 PM | Permalink

Comments

Your mom and I had a good laugh while we were reading this post.

Posted by: anonymouscoworker at February 1, 2006 02:15 PM

hey, I left my hat at her house last week. can you swing that by on your way home?

Posted by: eebmore at February 1, 2006 02:23 PM

I just had a great idea! we should go on a double date. is your mom a johnny cash fan? I can never remember.

Posted by: eebmore at February 1, 2006 02:29 PM

ee -
Yo mama is so fat her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama is so fat skinny people run around her for exercise.

Posted by: exBartender at February 1, 2006 03:55 PM

exbartender- I'm far more of fan of mother jokes that imply that relations have been had, but:

If uglieness were bricks your mama would be a housing project.

Posted by: eebmore at February 1, 2006 03:59 PM

I fail to see how insulting someone's mother equates into high humor. The bond between a mother and her child is special and shouldn't be the basis for your base buffoonery. By the way, when your mom was running her "Buy One, Get Three Free Kielbasa Smorgasborg" she forgot to give me change for my five dollar bill. Tell her to credit my account or I'll have to smack the bitch senseless, again.

Posted by: t_f_g at February 2, 2006 07:34 AM

your mom just told me that equating humor with violence towards women is never funny. at least i think that's what she was saying, she was enjoying MY KIELBASA SMORSASBORG at the time, if you know what I'm sayin'. it was difficult to understand her.

Posted by: eebmore at February 2, 2006 08:46 AM

I also put my penis in someone's mother's mouth.

Posted by: anonymouscoworker at February 2, 2006 01:19 PM

the master of subtlety reigns victorious! i tip my hat to you, anonymouscoworker.

Posted by: eebmore at February 2, 2006 02:05 PM

I am well aware that hitting a woman is never excusable, much less humorous. But as the videos we shot last night clearly demonstrate, the transgender operation was a complete success. Thus, even though your mom likes to hide the candy, I think I am perfectly justified in smacking "her" around for bad service. After all, the customer is always right.

Posted by: tfg at February 2, 2006 04:33 PM

Hey eebmore, I got this weird voicemail message from someone claiming to be my mother. It went like this:"Hi hon. Just wanted to let you know you should tell your friend I've had firmer handshakes." You have any idea what this is about?

Posted by: jayinbmore at February 5, 2006 05:17 PM

you and i were never friends. besides, your mom slipped me a ruffie that night. that's why I had a soft handshake. and i found her massive girth intimidating.

Posted by: eebmore at February 5, 2006 07:14 PM

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