So here is a satellite image of my block:

click image to enlarge

Isn’t the internet grand? yay.

Here is a color coordinated satellite image of my block:

click image to enlarge

The yellow box is my apartment. Typically, an oasis of calm in an urban setting. Facing an alley and high in the air, I hear no street traffic. No neighbors on three sides or above me, I have no problem having to listen to loud music, televisions, or people in other apartments humping. Along with the views, it is my Xanadu.

The violet box is the formally abandoned warehouse complex that is currently being converted in condominiums. Yay to urban renewal, boo to noise pollution. From seven in the morning until about four in the afternoon, noooiiiisssseeeeyyy. I work nights, so this has been annoying to say the least, but I understand the need for urban renewal, so I have suffered silently.

The green box is the neighborhood deli. Owned by a nice family. We’re friendly.

Unfortunately, while they were working on the abandoned warehouse, a cinderblock wall collapsed and did significant damage to the rear of the deli. Roof damage, crushed joists, many bricks needed to be replaced, etc. While the owners waited for the insurance money to come in, the roof of the deli was protected by a plastic tarp. Two-bit thugs continually climbed onto the roof and tried to break in, setting off the silent alarm, to which the Baltimore Police would respond with helicopters, SWAT teams, bull horns, dogs-of-hell, fighter jets, bomb defusing robots, you name it. All that was necessary was one cop with a night stick and maybe a paddy wagon.

I guess the owners got sick of dealing with this all, and have installed the LOUDEST ALARM IN THE UNIVERSE... ON A HAIR TRIGGER... THAT GOES OF FIVE TIMES A NIGHT, screeching:

“WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! YOU HAVE VIOLATED AN AREA THAT IS PROTECTED BY A SECURITY SYSTEM! LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!,” over and over and over and over again.

This morning the construction crew showed up early to work on the deli’s roof. Unfortunately, nobody thought to turn off the alarm, or gave the construction crew the code to turn it off, so to drown out the noise, they turned on every piece of construction equipment. It was not enough, so the construction crew on the warehouse did the same thing. And yet, that was still not enough. So, for the next half hour I got to listen I got to listen to a preview of what hell will sound like for me, at six fucking fifty in the morning.

I have nothing witty to say about this. I am too tired. And your mom was so cranky from all the noise, she didn’t even make me breakfast this morning. So now I’m tired and hungry. Life sucks.