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eebmore’s Monster

February 10, 2006

Earlier today/yesterday/some-undisclosed time, I was reading a political post on a blog from a fellow lefty who never fails to piss me off. The differences I have with this particular individual’s political interpretations are probably best described as strategic. I believe in broad interpretations of ideology with an emphasis on strong strategy to achieve left wing goals. This individual seems to me to believe in absolutist interpretations of ideology and a smothering and eradication of strategy to a point that I would fear that 95% of the American voting public would become died in the wool conservatives, and turn the American left into a tiny exclusive uber-cool minority of urban hipsters... and possibly rightly so. Hell, if the majority of the American Left interpreted politics in the same was as this undisclosed individual, I would gladly become a died in the wool conservative. After reading this individual’s post, I was worked into such a tizzy of vitriol and anger that I wrote a snotty, sarcastic and condescending comment, basically telling this individual that he/she is an ass. I tried to publish the comment, and my internet connection temporarily pooped out.

Thank you, internet connection. Thank you for reminding me that I should stick to ass jokes.

A vague hypothetical that may illustrate what I was trying to say to this individual would be for me to point out that Ann Coulter is the greatest windfall experienced by the left wing since John Kennedy was shot. Ann Coulter is better than Watergate. Ann Coulter should be on the Democratic Party’s payroll.

Okay, full disclosure time. I actually created Ann Coulter in my basement using technology that I learned watching Weird Science. I used embryonic stem cells, a barbie doll, a tape recording of Sean Hannedy radio excerpts, a dead rat, a super computer and a forty foot lighting rod in an electrical storm. My original intent was to keep her to myself for a little of the *whistle whistle*, if you know what I’m sayin’. What can I say? I’ve got a thing for blonde, loudmouthed bitches. But I soon realized that if I unleashed her on the public with a enough rope, millions of swing voters would eventually flee from the rhetoric of right wing ideologues. You see, the general population, much to their credit, does not care much for blatant hackneyed naked bias and idealogery. They prefer subtle hackneyed cloaked bias.

So will you please stop subverting all my hard work by supporting blatantly biased left wing hacks that are doing nothing more for the Left than driving the moderates away from our political institutions? I’m still pissed at you for creating Howard Dean in your basement and placing him in the chair of the DNC. What is that going to ultimately cost us? 10 million votes? 15 million votes?

And don’t even get me started on Naderstein in 2000, but that ploy was too sophisticated for your puny little unstrategic minds. He had to have been created in Rove’s basement. Genius bastard.

11:12 AM | Permalink
Comments

Now that you made Ann Coulter in your basement, will you make a Kelly LaBroc for me? Just like in wierd science.

Posted by: Double Dogged at February 10, 2006 07:40 PM

i only use my powers for evil.

Posted by: eebmore at February 10, 2006 07:42 PM

Nader is the only one that has gotten it right.

The genius of the Republican party is that they have replaced traditional conservative ideology with policies of greed and few of their members noticed.

Posted by: tfg at February 11, 2006 03:03 PM

Well hell, I can think of some evil things to do.

Posted by: Double Dogged at February 11, 2006 05:54 PM

if getting it right is handing the government over to his greatest idealogical opponents, than yes, he did a slam dunk bang up job. Of course, the dems could have had an agenda more to the liking of Nader and his supporters, thus eliminating the need for a spoiler candidacy. Only problem with that would be the dems would have lost that election handily, instead of kinda-winning/kinda-loosing/whatever. Nader’s run, at best, was all ideology and zero strategy. Unfortunately, I don’t believe that was the intent. I believe the intent was to spoil the election to “wake up” the dems into understanding that its wingnuts were not to be ignored. well, that didn’t work out too well, did it? The only thing Nader succeded in doing was making the country an even more extreme example of everything that bothered him about it. He is our nation's greatest failure.

Strategy strategy strategy strategy strategy strategy strategy strategy strategy strategy etc..........

Posted by: eebmore at February 12, 2006 01:24 AM

I agree that ideology and practicality are two different animals. Had I been in a red state during the last presidential election, I would have voted for Kerry and not Nader.

Personally, I reject the framework of our electoral process on the basis that it's entirely corrupt. Unless the democrats grow a pair and make radical changes in their platform (which they won't), they will continue to slowly bleed to death. Thus, I don't give a rip about democratic strategy. Transient democratic successes only delay the inevitable.

Have you ever considered why Nader is considered a wingnut? Or who has given him this label?

Posted by: tfg at February 12, 2006 01:32 PM

he represents the uncompromising wing of a political idealogy, thus "a wingnut."

"I reject the framwork of our electoral process on the basis that it's entriely corrupt"... "I don't give a rip about democratic strategy." EXACTLY.

Funny thing about Florida, once the Nadar campaign realized they may spoil the election, they told everyone to not vote for them... but they did anyway. Oooops. Now that is some bad strategy.

Posted by: eebmore at February 12, 2006 01:46 PM

My point is why worry about democratic strategy when the entire democratic process has been, most likely, irreparably perverted. It's like watering the garden when your house is on fire.

Who always wins in a modern election? Let me assure you that it is not us.

Posted by: tfg at February 12, 2006 05:52 PM

perhaps, but the Nader campaign answered the problem of the house being on fire, not by watering the garden, but by pouring gasoline on the house.

Posted by: eebmore at February 12, 2006 06:02 PM

... and then screaming "See? I told you so."

Posted by: eebmore at February 12, 2006 06:06 PM

I don't think Nader has any illusions about winning the presidency. I think his message is his strategy.

I agree that he may currently be our nation's greatest political failure. However, when they look back at this period in 50 years, I believe that he may be the only politician who is revered. And I'm probably being generous when I say 50.

Posted by: tfg at February 12, 2006 11:19 PM

you're right. he had no illusions about winning the presidency. and yes, his message was his goal. and spoiling the election and handing the government over to his greatest political opponents did not bother him, it further carried his message. the more corrupt the machine is, the more validated his message becomes. a despicable type of zealot, in my opinion. the type that hopes to bring about a revolution, of sorts. funny things, revolutions. they tend to bring about hardships/starvation/exploitation and death first to those who they are supposedly fought for. sufferings the revolutionaries never seem to care about. One might suspect the Revolution is fought for ego first, and the good of the proletariat second... if for the proletariat at all. I wonder how many millions (more than a billion?) would die/be persecuted/raped/starved/etc. if the WTO protesters and World Bank hatas had their way.

Brother, you can count me out. If history looks back at him reverently, I’m not entirely convinced I would want anything to do with humanity.

but, of course, we’re debating over six year old issues here. these issues are no longer part of the dialogue. now we’re busy fighting to keep the first amendment in tact... to keep creationism out of the classroom. nations like iran, bolivia, germany, venezuela, canada even... are following our lead and embracing reactionary ideologies determined to go their own way and tell the international community to go fuck itself. we’re using armies to “convert” other people into embracing our “values,” and we’re trying to turn a buck in the process. and it all isn’t going very well. but i guess it all would have gone down in exactly the same way anyway, seeing how both parties are practically the same and all.

Posted by: eebmore at February 12, 2006 11:45 PM

You are far more optimistic than I. I'm not convinced that we will not see much of the suffering that you mention with or without civil upheaval. We are seeing events that are unprecedented in world history. The issues (distractions) of the day, like partisan politics and religion, are mostly irrelevant. Issues, which rarely impinge on the social conscience of Joe Lunchbucket, are what I think will prove to be significant down the line.

As you pointed out, there is not a huge difference between the parties. We have the Republicans and Republican Lites. Both are bought and sold at the whim of corporate campaign contributors. The will of the people has been circumvented. Partially through self-administered stupidity and partially because our elections are merely choices between corporate employees. In my mind, this is no choice.


Posted by: tfg at February 13, 2006 11:20 AM

yeah, i was being sarcastic and mocking Naderite rhetoric.

Posted by: eebmore at February 13, 2006 11:35 AM

Hey, maybe next time you two can get a room. ;)

I enjoyed the comments.

Posted by: anonymouscoworker at February 13, 2006 12:01 PM

I would never cheat on you during valentines day week. when you come over tomorrow night, bring me a ham sandwich and don't be late, bitch

Posted by: eebmore at February 13, 2006 12:05 PM

And don't forget to bring a little something for his mom.

Posted by: tfg at February 13, 2006 12:49 PM
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eebmore at yahoo dot com.

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