eebmore: Chicken of the Sea

Chicken of the Sea

April 05, 2006

I just received this questionnaire from an old friend whom I haven’t seen in years. It wasn’t really an email, it isn’t really a blog, but something sort in the middle. Regardless, the question was amusing and interesting, works well as an interactive, so I decided to steal it and publish it here:

Wednesday, April 05, 2006
poll

if you had the opportunity to have sex with a creature that was half human and half fish, which half would you prefer to be human, and why?

10:34 AM

This was my response:

?!? well, hmmmm.... I would prefer the bottom half to be human. I've had sexual relations with women who had a face like a fish in the past, and it didn't really bother me that much. having relations with a creature that has human genitalia is a moral line I hold onto to maintain my sense of humanity. Well, that, and I'm an ass man.

What’s yours?

02:29 PM | Permalink

Comments

Bottom half. Despite all the vicious rumors flying around I do not like to lick fish-ass.

Posted by: jayinbmore at April 5, 2006 03:12 PM

the bottom half has to be human. just stick a bag over its head.

Posted by: miss kendra at April 5, 2006 03:39 PM

But how could I look deeply into a fish-man's eyes (at the same time)? I'm so confused.

Posted by: Kristine at April 5, 2006 03:53 PM

jayinbmore, yes yes, you keep saying those are vicious rumors; but I’ve seen the 10 second mpeg clips on FishCentral.com. That guy looked suspiciously similar.

ms. kendra, i think you have to broaden the definition of sexual relations for this poll to work. Think of a spectacularly handsome merman, the most beautiful face and upper torso you have ever seen, with the heart of a poet, capable of amazing feats in female gratification, who has a fish body from the waist down. Compare this to a humping mindless armless tuna with human legs and male genitalia. For me, thinking of a similar mermaid or a similar tuna with lady legs and female genitalia, my answer still stands. Tunas don’t call or ask where the relationship is going. Do you still have the same answer?

kristine, you couldn’t gaze romantically into the eyes of a fish? Fishist.

Posted by: eebmore at April 5, 2006 04:23 PM

If the bottom half was a fish, wouldn't she smell like a "human" while I was giving her oral sex?

Posted by: anonymouscoworker at April 5, 2006 04:59 PM

that sounds like it could be bad. humans can reek. but can you imagine a mermaid tapping you on the head and telling you "that isn't my genitalia?" that would be so humbling.

Posted by: eebmore at April 5, 2006 05:08 PM

and acw, if she reeks like human, be a man and soldier through.

Posted by: eebmore at April 5, 2006 05:13 PM

it would depend on the species of fish. i don't think i could deal with a great white head or an angler fish head....men's thingies are already unattractive anyway.

wouldn't a mermaid lay eggs for youo to swim over and fertilize?

Posted by: esf at April 7, 2006 04:18 PM

you're talking about LOVE-MAKING.

in order to do it with the a fishman, the man parts have to be there.

if we're having a relationship, then i guess the top part should be the human. he better give good oral.

Posted by: miss kendra at April 7, 2006 05:27 PM

esf, you mean that isn't how humans are supposed to do it!? Fuck, that explains so many things.

Posted by: eebmore at April 7, 2006 11:49 PM

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