Do you remember last week, when me buying a box fan caused a store clerk to yap at me, which in turn caused a Devita to suck her teeth and accuse us of conspiring to control the Universe?

Well, I went back to the store a couple of days later to buy another box fan (see OCD AC diagram in post below). This time I had made it out of the store unscathed. Some stranger had commended me on my purchase of, of all things, the fan (technically, it isn’t a box fan. it is some fancy shmancy 20” fan that can be tilted up and down - or shoved in a window.) He said he had bought the same fan a year before and that it was fantastic or somethingorother (FAN-tastic. HAR!)

Anyway, I was walking home with my second fan when I was confronted by an aggressive blubber-beggar. He had jumped in front of me in an attempt to pin myself between him and the building to my left, so I would have to listen to a crocodile-teared, particularly wretched beggar spiel. So of course, I just walked right through him. I can be relatively polite to beggars to a point, but not when they try to corner me. He kept screaming “Excuse me, sir... excuse me, sir,” to which I responded “I can’t help you... I can’t help you.” When I was about five feet away from him, he yelled at the top of his lungs, “Hey! Sir! Excuse me!.” I turned around and yelled “I’m done with you!” To which he responded, “FUCK YOU, WHITE, HONKEY, PUNK-ASS BITCH!”

Honkey?! HONKEY?! I’m totally a white, punk-ass bitch; but Honkey?! What decade is this? I haven’t been called a honkey since I was ten years old. Hello? Superfly just called, and he wanted his slang back. And he told me to tell you that you’re a jive turkey.

Let this be a lesson to you people. If you own box fans, keep them hidden, for they inspire racial intolerance.