I think the majority of people who may come across this page are familiar with Epiphany In Baltimore. Epiphany is a fantastic guy who has committed his life to noble work, edjamucating our city’s pip-squeak adolescents. Compared to myself at least, whose life’s goal is to be left alone as much as humanly possible, I think Epiphany and the work he does should be commend, encouraged and admired.

Earlier this week, he wrote about how he was preparing his classroom for the upcoming school year. He likes to clip meaningful passages from poetry around the classroom to inspire his students, to make them think and he asked his readers for suggestions. Me being me, of course, I offered a limerick about a hermit and a dead prostitute because I’m a jerk and I gotta be me. I don’t regret this. It is my favorite limerick about either dead prostitutes or hermits, it holds a special place very close to my heart, and I still think he should put it on his classroom wall. But I soooo know he won’t. Coward!

Anyway, I’ve read all the submissions so far. They are all very good and thoughtful and I think most would be very well placed in a classroom full of fourteen thru eighteen year olds. Obviously, the best one was about a dead prostitute and a hermit, but it is doubtful that one will make it onto the wall of poetic fame. I know, I know, parents, schoolboards, lawsuits, unemployment, blah blah blah blah blah. I can’t say that I’m not a little hurt, but I understand.

Although there was one passage that I took a small exception towards:

"A person's true character is revealed by what he does when no one else is watching."

Pulllleeeeaaaasssseee. I fail to see what me wearing a ball gag and mexican wrestling mask, strapping myself hanging from a chandelier, tying my hands behind my back, inserting a 14.4 volt DeWalt chordless adjustable clutch drill/driver into my better half and forcing a family of starving baby badgers to gnaw on my toes has to say about my “true character.”

Whateva. She probably doesn’t sort her recyclables. Like she’s so perfect. That’s all I gotta say.

Hey, if any of you all ever want to borrow my drill, just ask. See? I have character too.