I think my father told me this one when I was six:

Two dums are in an alley, with only one dollar between them, trying to figure out how they are going to get drunk. “I have an idea!,” one exclaims. “Give me your 50 cents.” The drunk stands up with his dollar in pocket change, stumbles out of the alley towards the market across the street, and returns five minutes later with a hot dog in his hand.

“Oh, man,” the second drunk cries, “how are we going to get drunk off of a hot dog?”

“I’ll explain!,” the first drunk leans over and whispers his plan into his ear.

***

A couple of hours later, the two drunks are sitting in a bar. Having just finished 6 whiskeys between them, the bartender finally gets fed up. “All right, I’ve served you each three whiskeys, and you haven’t paid me yet. That’s it! If you don’t have the cash, I’m calling the police.”

On that cue, the first drunk jumps up from his bar stool, where it becomes evident that he has zipped the hot dog into his fly. The second drunk dives to his knees and starts sucking on the hot dog.

“Oh my God!” the bartender screeched, “Get out of here! Get out of here!”

***

Ten hours and eight bars later, the two drunks stumble back into the alley from where their adventure began.

“Man, that was a great plan,” the second drunk said, “but boy are my knees sore from jumping down onto the floor in all of those bars.”

“You think your knees are sore?,” the first drunk snorted. “We lost the hot dog after the second bar.”

I can tell you, that joke KILLED in the first grade playground. I wonder if anyone got it any better than I did?