eebmore: Before Any of This Gets Started

Before Any of This Gets Started

September 19, 2006

Anybody out there who feels compelled to talk like a pirate today, in any context, is a complete and utter tool. No, as of yet I have not checked my aggregator, so if you have beaten me to the punch before 9:45 Eastern Standard Time, I am not speaking of you specifically. The yahoo homepage warned me of this gag inducing nightmare of an internet holiday (words of wisdom, if it is profiled in the Yahoo! "Featured" box, then it is completely played out). Your transgressions from years past are forgiven. To be young is to be stupid and easily coerced by ridiculous and moronic trends. I myself once wore parachute pants to school. Once.

You’re older now. Think for yourself. Make up your own jokes.

09:45 AM | Permalink

Comments

Personally, I'm holding out for Hump Like Drunk Monkeys Day.

Posted by: tfg at September 19, 2006 08:17 PM

Now that's funny. Of course, my old parachute pants were way cooler and blue. I even remember buying them at Commander Salamander's in Georgetown.

Posted by: Rob at September 19, 2006 09:00 PM

ah, yes. commaner Salamander. i was too young and too poor to go to georgetown to buy my parachute pants. I made my parents buy them for the first day of school in the sixth grade... I think from K-mart. *shudder* there is nothing about that last sentence that didn't make me burn with humiliation. the parachute pants were going to make me cool and everyone like me in the new middle school! ug. I think they just prolonged the beatings.

I didn't start to humiliate myself with crap from CS until i was sixteen. by seventeen I was buying stuff from the cool hardcore store on M street, just before the exorcist stairs. What was that place called again?

this all makes me cringe.

Posted by: eebmore at September 19, 2006 09:50 PM

Pirates are bitchin'. You're just pissed because you're a lame-ass ninja lover.

http://www.ninjapirate.com/battle.html

Posted by: anoymouscoworker at September 20, 2006 09:59 AM

hehe. the yahoo featured link with the lame ass pirate model is the exact same link! I'll wait for the sequel, when the fucking pirates and the fucking ninjas join forces to wage battle against zombies, snakes on planes and fucking spagetti monsters. ;-)

Posted by: eebmore at September 20, 2006 10:52 AM

If you have any internet love for me AT ALL, you will email me a picture of youself in your 6th-grade parachute pants.

Posted by: Kristine at September 21, 2006 05:26 PM

Oh, Kristine, if such a picture existed, I swear to you that I would send it to you. Unfortunately, no such picture exists. I wore them only once, on the first day of middle school, and they never sullied my ass again. Pity, as I was wearing a matching Chams shirt. If I remember correctly, it was electric blue, with black netting on the exterior... with the black parachute pants... with white high tops... with extra-fat neon shoe laces... O! O! And I was wearing my hair slicked back with HAIR MOUSSE! Youza! My father must have wanted to kill himself.

Posted by: eebmore at September 22, 2006 01:57 AM

If I could go back in time and be another kid in that class, I would totally kick my own ass.

Posted by: eebmore at September 22, 2006 01:59 AM

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