Apparently, the night before last, my neighborhood/building/whatever suffered a blackout. I really didn’t give it much of a thought, didn’t bother to reset the clocks and just went about my Sunday business. I must have woken somewhat early (I think), as last night I seemed to drain out a couple of hours early (I think). Still, I held out and didn’t go to bed until about midnight or so (I think) after setting my alarm clock for this morning.

Now, I typically set my alarm for 7:30. This morning, I woke when the clock said 6:40. 6:40 is a little early for me, but not unprecedented, so I decided jump out of bed and do the slightly earlier thing for a change.

Now, I know that some persons reading this might be feeling the urge to comment about how you have to get up a 5:30 or something to go to the gym, get to work, dress your children or otherwise share with the word your martyr’s tale of early morning woe; but I assure you I couldn’t care less and nobody is impressed with your daily feat other than yourself. You have a daily schedule? Wow. Too bad life doesn’t hand out participation ribbons.

Anyway, like I was saying, my clock struck 6:40. It was dark out. I guess that’s normal for this time of year. I really don’t know. I hopped out of bed, the cat seemed pretty excited that I was up early, took a piss, and headed to the kitchen and made a pot of coffee.

While I was waiting for the coffee, I looked out my window and noticed ALL of my next door’s neighbors lights were on, which struck me as odd, but I didn’t really give it much of a thought. I mean, I suppose she could have had a good reason to walk into every room and turn on every light at that time of morning. Maybe she got up to work on a project - or pulled an all nighter - or something else that really wasn’t any of my business that I didn’t really care about because all that was important to me at the time was why the hell coffee makers doesn’t work faster. That’s all I ever care about when I get up in the morning.

After waiting an eternity for enough of the pot to finish brewing, I inhaled a mug, farted around the apartment, played with the cat, probably scratched my ass, and then sucked down another mug of goo before jumping into the shower. After which, I made myself a little breakfast, drank another mug of coffee, probably scratched my ass some more and generally pleasantly squandered away my early extra hour of the morning. Today is my day off, so I wasn’t really in a rush to be anywhere special, so I was thumbing through my head thinking of the different whatevers I could take care of over the course of day.

After about an hour, I began to notice something wasn’t right. What was it, I thought to myself. What isn’t here that should be here? Finally it struck me. The Sun! It is still completely dark out at 7:30 in the morning.

Now, a person of average intelligence would probably seek out a clock, or look at their phone or their watch or turn on a television or get online to try to figure out why exactly it was that the sun decided to not get up that morning. But not me, because you see, I am a genius. Instead of doing all these thing that a person of average intelligence would do, I continued to scratch my ass and look out the window while trying to figure where the sun was hiding.

Eventually, I just sort of lost interest and poured myself another cup of coffee. While I was sipping my fourth cup of coffee, I looked out my kitchen window and noticed that now my next door neighbor had turned off all of her lights. Hmmm. She must have had to leave for class before dawn. She’s a hard worker, that neighbor girl whose name I can never remember. Too bad whenever I ask her how she’s doing in the hall, she always answers with a forlorn “Oh... I’m surviving,” in a measured gravitas. That’s annoying. I wish whatshername would stop saying that. But vegetarians are always lame that way. Meat and dairy must make people happy or something.

Nice butt for a chick Eeyor, though.

So, after milling over my neighbors vegetarian depressive hindquarters for a while, I went over to my computer to read the news, and that’s when I saw it:

Mon 2:05 AM!!!!!!!!

And there I was; fed, showered, with only an hour of sleep under my belt and most of a pot of coffee in my gut.

That was seven hours ago.

Today is going to suck.

This post isn't very entertaining.

I'm a little groggy.